I am so very grateful for the love of my pups, I was getting ready to write this blog and my youngest pup came up and put his paws on my arm and looked deeply into my eyes, as if to say, I see you, I see who you really are, and I love you no matter what I see.
GOAL:
So a little back story is necessary here. I was notified I would be laid off by Shell on May 10th, one day after my dad's 79th birthday, and 2 days before I was to leave for a week long vacation to see my mom, who has Alzheimer's, and take her to see her brothers, nieces and nephews and all the grand nieces and nephews.
I was torn up about the news, not because it was unexpected or unwanted, but I didn't know what I wanted to do next. I had two choices really, get another 9-to-5 job or take a leap and start my own business.
I spent time getting very quiet in order to hear the guidance of the Lord and Lady (yes I believe in Wicca, but freely "borrow" from whatever religion seems to have the best solution to the problem I am facing. I am kind of mercenary that way). Anyway, I got very quiet and tried to hear what the Divine was saying. The first couple of times I heard it, I couldn't believe it. So I asked again and again, really, the first 8 or 9 times couldn't be the truth. They said, trust Us and take this leap of faith. Start your own business. Holy crap!!! Talk about scary, so I asked a few more times (ok, about 20 or so), are You sure??? Yup!
Since I got back from vacation in May I have been working hard to figure out how to get my business started. Because Goddess forbid I do something easy. Today I was told, and I quote, "You are running down stairs filled with toys with open scissors in each hand!"
I have to:
- Get government approval for what I am doing,
- Convince an entire industry that what I am suggesting is the best solution even though the concept is counter to anything they have ever considered.
- Do all this knowing that my strongest skills are my engineering/analytical/research skills, NOT my sales/marketing/persuasion skills.
To tie all this in, my goal is the same as it has been since I got notice I was laid off.
To start my own successful company providing an alternative to the surety bonds that offshore oil and gas operators have to purchase to cover decommissioning liability.
- I would judge it successful when I am able to buy back my mom's home from the reverse mortgage sharks who convinced her to do something that foolish.
- Secondly, I would judge a successful when I am able to build the big house on my property. Beyond that I would judge it a success if I have profit enough that am able to draw a living salary for myself and any co-founders.
- Additionally, I want to change the way people in the oil and gas industry perceive decommissioning liability. I don't want it to be an afterthought, I want it to be part of their daily expenses and so they never have to worry if they will have enough money.
- I want to be the person who changes the paradigm!
INVENTORY:
What is keeping me from achieving my goals? Really, at this point, not being able to assimilate all the data I need to know. I feel like I opened up a fire hose and am trying to drink every drop. But I can only do what I can do, and the Lord and Lady will do the rest, or take care of it in some way.
What else is stopping me?
The fear, deep seated fear, that I am going to be broke before I make it. JK Rowling, the founder of Crossfit, these folks were almost in the poor house or insane asylum before they got it right, I really, really don't want to do that. The only way I can counter that fear is by prayer, and introspection, and having faith.
So faith, yes faith, is helping me to achieve my goals. And that is the point of all this, what we call life, right? Have faith and the world will be opened to you. I hope and pray that my faith won't lead me astray. It hasn't yet, so I am going to keep trusting it!
MOTIVATION:
My faith, goodness, my faith is what is keeping me motivated. I start to get upset, or depressed, or stressed, and I think I can't do this, who am I to consider making this kind of impact. And then I get quiet, or I push myself to go out and talk with one more friend, one more person who has gotten in touch with me, and BOOM! my next step becomes clear.
- One friend was able to put me in touch with someone who has a reinsurance company.
- Another friend who got his master's thesis in how to price bonds.
- Another friend put me in touch with someone who has contacts within the oil and gas insurance industry.
- Another friend has a venture capital company ready to hear my pitch, all I need to do is get to that point.
My motivation appears when I need it because I have faith. A former co-worker said to me, you know, there is too much "fake" motivation in the corporate work world. He said faith needs to be front and center and not be something you do once you get home or on Sundays. He is absolutely right. Do what you love and have faith that it is enough! That is my motivation!
