LOVE:
Struggling with this one. There was a meme on FB that says You deserve the kind of love you would give someone else. I don't feel like that will ever happen. I feel like I give a lot of love and don't get much back. I have a lot of friends who would do a lot for me, don't get me wrong. But finding someone who is willing to partner with me for life and give me that kind of love. No I don't think it will happen. I was raised with too much "man" traits to find someone willing to put up with that. Ah well, life is. And if I am meant to go through life without a partner well then I guess I just have to accept it and make the best of it. I just don't know how.
GOAL:
So the real reason I am posting today is last night I had my first day of teaching at the university. I am teaching a course in my industry about what I do for a living day to day. I got really wonderful feedback, even on the first class. I am excited to see how this semester turns out. What was really crazy to me was that I was amped until about midnight last night. Just totally wired. I have never been wired like that from any job I have ever done. Work is a grind you just have to get through day to day. I think most women feel that way. They want to find a job that fulfills them, but it never works out that way. Always it is draining to the soul and ends up a grind. We are never appreciated for our talents and always told that we need to be more of something we can never be and less of what comes naturally to us. This fall I worked for a man who gets it. We had an incident at work, where he implied out loud to the rest of the office that I wasn't doing my job, and not doing a good job. I have dealt with worse as an engineer, but it still stings. Well, let me tell you, the next day he shows up and says loudly to the office at large that my contributions are exceptional and that I should never wonder if my efforts are appreciated and valued. WOW!!! How do I get that kind of boss forever!!! So my goal, should the Lord and Lady grant me, to obtain a job with excellent pay and benefits, vacation commensurate with all my years working, in the oil and gas sector, teaching like I am doing now at the university, with the option to be able to work for a few weeks out of the year from California so I can deal with mom issues and have a boss like Mr. Darrell, within easy driving distance to my current house.
Ok, not much to ask for, just the impossible! Let's see how the universe responds.
INVENTORY:
In the meantime, about what I have been doing to move this goal forward. I have found something I enjoy doing, I have experienced for the first time in my life a boss who supports my efforts and gets what it means to be a woman working in a mans world and encourages me in ways that I can take in. I know that this is home, that is huge!! I love my property, I like my little home, but wish it was bigger, so a good paying job will allow me to do what I really want to do with this property! With reasonable vacation, I will be able to see mom and also get some vacation time for myself. I will continue to speak with industry folks and talk myself up to them about what I am doing and how I am doing it.
MOTIVATION:
Something greater than this goal. Hmmm, not sure at the moment, but making a change within the industry because of my efforts, to see the waves of my efforts propagate out into the industry and the world at large. Yes, that would be beyond belief. This is my humble prayer to the Lord and Lady. I have put it out there and now it is time to see what I can turn this into!!
