Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Success!!!
GOAL: It has been a long while since I have posted here, but I have been keeping mostly on top of my daily meditations at least. And last week the meditations paid of BIG time!!! I got the job of my dreams in New Orleans, after accepting a position in Houston. I had made my peace with the fact that I wasn't getting what I had hoped for and the company called me after I had accepted the offer to tell me they had found a position for me in New Orleans and would I be willing to take the position. HECK YEAH!!! So for me, this is a dream come true and a confirmation that this stuff really does work! Even when it appeared that I would be moving to Houston I still believed that this meditation works and is worthwhile. Now I know it is amazing and it has made a believer out of me! So my next big task is to come up with a new goal to set my sights on! Part of it is to get back in shape which includes eating right and getting down to a weight that looks good on me. Which has less to do with the scale and more to do with my workouts! So I think although this has been a goal for a little over a month now, I need to formalize it. I will get back to you on what the exact wording of the goal will be. Let me think on it....
Thursday, May 5, 2011
5 May 2011
LOVE:
Yesterday I has having a very bad day. My asthma was kicking up and when it does that sometimes I steals my brain cells by starving me of oxygen and it does it in such a sneaky way that I don't realize it until I hit a critical mass! So yesterday I was feeling very stupid, just couldn't get anything to stick in my brain. So finally at around 5:30pm I realized what was going on. Doh! It made the rest of my day much better.
GOAL:
Same goal as ever get a job in the oil and gas sector that I am based out of New Orleans, and every day I get to design systems and products to save lives with a supportive boss who promotes lifelong learning!
Personally, I want to be inspirational to everyone I meet! I want to be that person that uplifts others and makes their day a little brighter!
INVENTORY:
Self care as far as diet goes has been great, but exercise, horrible. For some reason I am having a huge sticking point about getting into the gym. I just don't want to do it. This morning is a classic example. I want to go row, but I don't want to make the effort to go to the gym to do it. It is just an excuse, but I can't seem to shake it. So for now I am sitting with it and letting it process. But this is another of those things that I want to turn over to the divine, I need help with the motivation, desire, drive to get back into the gym.
I did help out a friend yesterday and truly felt like I was able to put my skills to work for him and make a difference in his life!
MOTIVATION:
I realized this morning something. Even though I have read this book and know that leadership is about doing your best in everything, I still have this belief that I have to do something huge, amazing and over the top for my thesis. I don't and I do. I don't need to make that the only thing of import I do, but I do need to make a heroic effort at everything. Good reminder for me. And a request to turn that over to the divine so I can keep that in mind in all things I do.
Yesterday I has having a very bad day. My asthma was kicking up and when it does that sometimes I steals my brain cells by starving me of oxygen and it does it in such a sneaky way that I don't realize it until I hit a critical mass! So yesterday I was feeling very stupid, just couldn't get anything to stick in my brain. So finally at around 5:30pm I realized what was going on. Doh! It made the rest of my day much better.
GOAL:
Same goal as ever get a job in the oil and gas sector that I am based out of New Orleans, and every day I get to design systems and products to save lives with a supportive boss who promotes lifelong learning!
Personally, I want to be inspirational to everyone I meet! I want to be that person that uplifts others and makes their day a little brighter!
INVENTORY:
Self care as far as diet goes has been great, but exercise, horrible. For some reason I am having a huge sticking point about getting into the gym. I just don't want to do it. This morning is a classic example. I want to go row, but I don't want to make the effort to go to the gym to do it. It is just an excuse, but I can't seem to shake it. So for now I am sitting with it and letting it process. But this is another of those things that I want to turn over to the divine, I need help with the motivation, desire, drive to get back into the gym.
I did help out a friend yesterday and truly felt like I was able to put my skills to work for him and make a difference in his life!
MOTIVATION:
I realized this morning something. Even though I have read this book and know that leadership is about doing your best in everything, I still have this belief that I have to do something huge, amazing and over the top for my thesis. I don't and I do. I don't need to make that the only thing of import I do, but I do need to make a heroic effort at everything. Good reminder for me. And a request to turn that over to the divine so I can keep that in mind in all things I do.
Monday, May 2, 2011
2 May 2011
I don't know what it was last night but I kept waking up with night terrors. They are never specific and usually if I focus on one terror to the point where I calm myself down about it, it morphs into a different terror. So last night I tried something new. Every time I had a bad thought I would meditate on "The divine always loves me unconditionally, and routinely brings miracles into my life. This allows me to be inspirational to those around me." And it worked. Not perfect, but it stopped cold the terrors. I still couldn't get to sleep, but meditating on divine love and how it helps me to reach my goals, not a bad way to spend a sleepless night.
LOVE: So today it was divine love always loving me unconditionally, and routinely bringing miracles into my life. Those are wonderful things to meditate on and the calm it brings is so worth it!
GOAL: It has been a few days since I last posted my career goal in it's entirety. But here it is again. I am employed full time based out of New Orleans working in the oil and gas sector saving lives by engineering safer systems, through reliability engineering! With a supportive boss and an environment which promotes continual learning.
Personally, I want to be inspirational to those around me. I want to help everyone who wishes it to be the best person they can be. Not be the best, but the best they can be. There was a great conversation last night about education. It should never be about across the board standards, but standards for each individual child. This is also what the Jesuits teach in their schools. They see the divinity in each child and help to bring that child to their fullest potential. There is no success or failure in that system, other than did the child achieve all s/he could achieve? If the child didn't how did the educators screw up to prevent that child from reaching their full potential. It is NEVER the child's fault. NEVER!
INVENTORY:
I am so very proud of myself. On Friday night I was seriously craving potato chips, I have some sitting on my counter from before. I have been really good all week about staying away from carbs and sticking to the diet. And I did it again on Friday. I fixed myself a salad and some protein and stuck with it!
This weekend was a friend's birthday and I made home made ice cream and we went out to and Italian restaurant. No way to stay away from the carbs. I didn't but I enjoyed the meal and did a good job of food choices. Sunday I kinda fell of the wagon, but that was mostly expected too. I need to find a low carb alternative to biscuits and gravy. I love the gravy too much to give it up all together, so I am going to have to figure that one out!
But this post is about successes! I did good on Friday, and this weekend was expected and this week I am back on the diet and taking care of myself! Last night was about a success as well. I was able to deal with the night terrors in a way that made the morning a joy instead of a dread! YEAH! And finally, I am celebrating my successes, which is a huge win for me!
MOTIVATION:
I got one reply to my Facebook post about how do you tell the difference between an all out effort and just a good effort. It was "When it takes every bit of your mental capacity to 'get there'." Which is enough of an answer for me. What that means is that I routinely go above and beyond. When I am having an off day I don't do that, but most often I do. There is something in me that says if I haven't given ever bit of who I am to the effort, I haven't given enough and I will beat myself up. So this has been an excellent exercise for me. I always have the motivation. This one isn't something I need to focus on. My internal guidance will always result in an over the top effort. It is good to know and it is nice to know that even when I feel like I haven't given enough, I am still doing exactly what needs to be done. I just am not going above and beyond.
LOVE: So today it was divine love always loving me unconditionally, and routinely bringing miracles into my life. Those are wonderful things to meditate on and the calm it brings is so worth it!
GOAL: It has been a few days since I last posted my career goal in it's entirety. But here it is again. I am employed full time based out of New Orleans working in the oil and gas sector saving lives by engineering safer systems, through reliability engineering! With a supportive boss and an environment which promotes continual learning.
Personally, I want to be inspirational to those around me. I want to help everyone who wishes it to be the best person they can be. Not be the best, but the best they can be. There was a great conversation last night about education. It should never be about across the board standards, but standards for each individual child. This is also what the Jesuits teach in their schools. They see the divinity in each child and help to bring that child to their fullest potential. There is no success or failure in that system, other than did the child achieve all s/he could achieve? If the child didn't how did the educators screw up to prevent that child from reaching their full potential. It is NEVER the child's fault. NEVER!
INVENTORY:
I am so very proud of myself. On Friday night I was seriously craving potato chips, I have some sitting on my counter from before. I have been really good all week about staying away from carbs and sticking to the diet. And I did it again on Friday. I fixed myself a salad and some protein and stuck with it!
This weekend was a friend's birthday and I made home made ice cream and we went out to and Italian restaurant. No way to stay away from the carbs. I didn't but I enjoyed the meal and did a good job of food choices. Sunday I kinda fell of the wagon, but that was mostly expected too. I need to find a low carb alternative to biscuits and gravy. I love the gravy too much to give it up all together, so I am going to have to figure that one out!
But this post is about successes! I did good on Friday, and this weekend was expected and this week I am back on the diet and taking care of myself! Last night was about a success as well. I was able to deal with the night terrors in a way that made the morning a joy instead of a dread! YEAH! And finally, I am celebrating my successes, which is a huge win for me!
MOTIVATION:
I got one reply to my Facebook post about how do you tell the difference between an all out effort and just a good effort. It was "When it takes every bit of your mental capacity to 'get there'." Which is enough of an answer for me. What that means is that I routinely go above and beyond. When I am having an off day I don't do that, but most often I do. There is something in me that says if I haven't given ever bit of who I am to the effort, I haven't given enough and I will beat myself up. So this has been an excellent exercise for me. I always have the motivation. This one isn't something I need to focus on. My internal guidance will always result in an over the top effort. It is good to know and it is nice to know that even when I feel like I haven't given enough, I am still doing exactly what needs to be done. I just am not going above and beyond.
Friday, April 29, 2011
29 April 2011
This is all about inventory and turning stuff over. I am literally making myself sick over this quiz I have today that is worth 1% of my grade. In a class where I most assuredly have a mid to high B. So 1% isn't going to kill me, but my stomach is upset and I am in a really foul mood because of this.
I am paying $1000's of dollars for this education and this damn teacher isn't teaching and it is pissing me off. But really that isn't what is at the bottom of this issue. The bottom of this issue is I am convinced really convinced that because I am not getting this from reference material (I missed most of the lectures) I think it means I am stupid. And I think that if I am stupid somehow that is wrapped up in me not being loveable. That is if I am stupid there is nothing worth loving about me. As if my intelligence is the only thing loveable about me. I can't make this right in my head. I can't explain or convince or trick my head into thinking this isn't so. It just is a fact of life, like my previous belief about being a failure and never winning. I truly wish this "defect" this aberrant thought pattern would be something the divine will take on and help me with. I can't do this one on my own.
A good reminder right about now is that I am always loved unconditionally by the divine warts, and all. All I have to do is open my heart to know that it is true!
I am paying $1000's of dollars for this education and this damn teacher isn't teaching and it is pissing me off. But really that isn't what is at the bottom of this issue. The bottom of this issue is I am convinced really convinced that because I am not getting this from reference material (I missed most of the lectures) I think it means I am stupid. And I think that if I am stupid somehow that is wrapped up in me not being loveable. That is if I am stupid there is nothing worth loving about me. As if my intelligence is the only thing loveable about me. I can't make this right in my head. I can't explain or convince or trick my head into thinking this isn't so. It just is a fact of life, like my previous belief about being a failure and never winning. I truly wish this "defect" this aberrant thought pattern would be something the divine will take on and help me with. I can't do this one on my own.
A good reminder right about now is that I am always loved unconditionally by the divine warts, and all. All I have to do is open my heart to know that it is true!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
27 April 2011
LOVE:
Reminding myself on a day to day basis that I am divinely loved and that I am lovable does so very much to help my self image. I am always loved...unconditionally!
GOAL:
BE INSPIRATIONAL!! That isn't really defined enough, but I am working on it. The last part of the book was about values, it says basically "This is who I am, this is what I stand for and this is what I want." The what I want is easy enough, as is the who I am. I am the sum of my experiences, but the what I stand for...that one is much more difficult. I am going to have to do some work on that. And figure out what I stand for. And what I will not accept.
Career goal is the same employed by August in New Orleans in the oil and gas industry working to save lives through reliability engineering.
INVENTORY:
I had a conversation with a friend last night about success and winning and it is hard for him to understand me because he doesn't view the world like I do, so while he gets the idea of perfection he hasn't ever judged himself to that standard. And as a result he is much more willing to take risks and has far fewer "attachments" It was a good conversation and I think that by focusing on it I will effect a change in my behavior and my thinking! I know the discussions and examination of my self care has made a huge impact on my outlook. I know it takes longer to plan my meals, and make sure that I am taking care of myself, but in the end I am better able to help/take care of others. So it is a win-win for me and for the achievement of my goals. Why would I ever do something that prevents me from reaching such lofty goals. And goals which I am passionate about.
MOTIVATION:
Going above and beyond, never accepting that adequate is good enough. I think part of the reason this is such a challenge for me as that I don't see the difference in doing and adequate job vs. doing an outstanding job. In my life, there has never been a benefit to doing an outstanding job. Other than it requires more energy and effort. But it is never recognized or appreciated, so why do it. I know that doing the exceptional is never about how others perceive it but about how it makes me feel. And maybe this is the issue...maybe I always am going above and beyond and don't recognize it because of my issues with success and winning. How does one define exceptional accomplishments vs. ordinary accomplishments. I actually don't have any idea. I am going to turn this one over to the divine, and ask them to show me what it feels like to achieve something extraordinary vs. something ordinary. Maybe that way I can get a handle on this.
Reminding myself on a day to day basis that I am divinely loved and that I am lovable does so very much to help my self image. I am always loved...unconditionally!
GOAL:
BE INSPIRATIONAL!! That isn't really defined enough, but I am working on it. The last part of the book was about values, it says basically "This is who I am, this is what I stand for and this is what I want." The what I want is easy enough, as is the who I am. I am the sum of my experiences, but the what I stand for...that one is much more difficult. I am going to have to do some work on that. And figure out what I stand for. And what I will not accept.
Career goal is the same employed by August in New Orleans in the oil and gas industry working to save lives through reliability engineering.
INVENTORY:
I had a conversation with a friend last night about success and winning and it is hard for him to understand me because he doesn't view the world like I do, so while he gets the idea of perfection he hasn't ever judged himself to that standard. And as a result he is much more willing to take risks and has far fewer "attachments" It was a good conversation and I think that by focusing on it I will effect a change in my behavior and my thinking! I know the discussions and examination of my self care has made a huge impact on my outlook. I know it takes longer to plan my meals, and make sure that I am taking care of myself, but in the end I am better able to help/take care of others. So it is a win-win for me and for the achievement of my goals. Why would I ever do something that prevents me from reaching such lofty goals. And goals which I am passionate about.
MOTIVATION:
Going above and beyond, never accepting that adequate is good enough. I think part of the reason this is such a challenge for me as that I don't see the difference in doing and adequate job vs. doing an outstanding job. In my life, there has never been a benefit to doing an outstanding job. Other than it requires more energy and effort. But it is never recognized or appreciated, so why do it. I know that doing the exceptional is never about how others perceive it but about how it makes me feel. And maybe this is the issue...maybe I always am going above and beyond and don't recognize it because of my issues with success and winning. How does one define exceptional accomplishments vs. ordinary accomplishments. I actually don't have any idea. I am going to turn this one over to the divine, and ask them to show me what it feels like to achieve something extraordinary vs. something ordinary. Maybe that way I can get a handle on this.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
26 April 2011
LOVE:
Being able to lean on the support of the divine is so very helpful because it takes a huge burden off of my chest that I have to be my own cheerleader because no one else will. I know I have divine cheerleaders and they are always there for me. They always see the best me. They know my strengths and weaknesses and love me anyway. They see me clearly when I don't see myself clearly!
GOAL:
I think I need to start including some personal goals as well as career goals in this section. I finally finished the book today and part of the goal section is no only career goals, although that was the focus of a book on leadership, but without personal goals part of my life is stagnant. So career wise by August 2011 I am employed full time based out of New Orleans working in the oil and gas sector helping to save lives by engineering safer systems, through reliability engineering! With a supportive boss and an environment which promotes continual learning.
Personal wise: I am already doing this to some extent in my inventory. But personally, I am an inspiration to those around me to be the best they can be. I don't care if they are teachers, bosses, children, friends or enemies. I inspire everyone around me to be better today than they were yesterday.
INVENTORY:
Inventory time. Actually this is more about a realization. One of many today, but this one happened most recently so I am going to get it down on "paper". I talked yesterday about setting goals an then not presupposing the outcome. Well as a correlary to that the realization is that I don't see myself as successful or as a winner. I consider my success or failure against a perfect me. And of course when you do that you never achieve it, so you can never be a winner or successful. So the challenge is to reframe success and failure. I do this again and again and always forget it. Here is the issue I have. If you judge your successes or failures against what your best effort is which is what I hear often, then you will always come up short, because my best effort is that perfect me. So, in the scope of the gym I have to ask myself did I move toward my goals (personal, physical, spiritual, career, love, etc) or away from them. If I moved toward them then I have been a success today. I was a winner today. But my sticking point with that is that most days I will be a winner and that just doesn't make sense in my head. Winning and success are things that happen once or if you are lucky twice a year. Not something that happens 5-6 times a week. OK, for this one I know what to do. I need to turn this belief over to the divine. This idea that success is something that happens every day. This is the reality of life, not the messed up world I live in.
MOTIVATION:
The two goals dovetail (in my head anyway) into each other and be an inspiration is all I want to be. If I have done that, then I am going above and beyond and achieving beyond expectation!
Being able to lean on the support of the divine is so very helpful because it takes a huge burden off of my chest that I have to be my own cheerleader because no one else will. I know I have divine cheerleaders and they are always there for me. They always see the best me. They know my strengths and weaknesses and love me anyway. They see me clearly when I don't see myself clearly!
GOAL:
I think I need to start including some personal goals as well as career goals in this section. I finally finished the book today and part of the goal section is no only career goals, although that was the focus of a book on leadership, but without personal goals part of my life is stagnant. So career wise by August 2011 I am employed full time based out of New Orleans working in the oil and gas sector helping to save lives by engineering safer systems, through reliability engineering! With a supportive boss and an environment which promotes continual learning.
Personal wise: I am already doing this to some extent in my inventory. But personally, I am an inspiration to those around me to be the best they can be. I don't care if they are teachers, bosses, children, friends or enemies. I inspire everyone around me to be better today than they were yesterday.
INVENTORY:
Inventory time. Actually this is more about a realization. One of many today, but this one happened most recently so I am going to get it down on "paper". I talked yesterday about setting goals an then not presupposing the outcome. Well as a correlary to that the realization is that I don't see myself as successful or as a winner. I consider my success or failure against a perfect me. And of course when you do that you never achieve it, so you can never be a winner or successful. So the challenge is to reframe success and failure. I do this again and again and always forget it. Here is the issue I have. If you judge your successes or failures against what your best effort is which is what I hear often, then you will always come up short, because my best effort is that perfect me. So, in the scope of the gym I have to ask myself did I move toward my goals (personal, physical, spiritual, career, love, etc) or away from them. If I moved toward them then I have been a success today. I was a winner today. But my sticking point with that is that most days I will be a winner and that just doesn't make sense in my head. Winning and success are things that happen once or if you are lucky twice a year. Not something that happens 5-6 times a week. OK, for this one I know what to do. I need to turn this belief over to the divine. This idea that success is something that happens every day. This is the reality of life, not the messed up world I live in.
MOTIVATION:
The two goals dovetail (in my head anyway) into each other and be an inspiration is all I want to be. If I have done that, then I am going above and beyond and achieving beyond expectation!
Monday, April 25, 2011
25 April 2011
LOVE:
Nothing to comment on this today. Just an awareness in the back of my mind that the divine's love is ever-present.
GOAL:
I am employed full time based out of New Orleans working in the oil and gas sector helping to save lives by engineering safer systems, through reliability engineering! With a supportive boss and an environment which promotes continual learning.
What happens when I achieve this goal? Have I set up this goal instead of setting the goal?
INVENTORY:
So I was thinking last night/this morning about setting goals and achieving those goals. I often will set a goal with a specific plan of how I am going to meet that goal and what the successful completion of the goal will look like. When I do that I do two things. I limit how I can complete the goal. That is if a better way to complete the goal gets dropped in my lap I will ignore it because I "know" the right way to achieve the goal. And second I set up internal limits for myself. I don't let life dictate how much I will accomplish, I don't allow for the possibility of blowing the goal out of the water by accomplishing something truly amazing because I have reframed the goal because of life experiences. So I will turn over this idea of setting up goals and just set general goals without having specifics in mind.
MOTIVATION:
Still struggling with this one and I am almost done with the book and still don't think I have any truly great answers. Looks like this one is going to have to come from within. Ugh...that means some serious meditation time on this topic! By next Monday I will have spent at least 60 minutes on this topic.
Nothing to comment on this today. Just an awareness in the back of my mind that the divine's love is ever-present.
GOAL:
I am employed full time based out of New Orleans working in the oil and gas sector helping to save lives by engineering safer systems, through reliability engineering! With a supportive boss and an environment which promotes continual learning.
What happens when I achieve this goal? Have I set up this goal instead of setting the goal?
INVENTORY:
So I was thinking last night/this morning about setting goals and achieving those goals. I often will set a goal with a specific plan of how I am going to meet that goal and what the successful completion of the goal will look like. When I do that I do two things. I limit how I can complete the goal. That is if a better way to complete the goal gets dropped in my lap I will ignore it because I "know" the right way to achieve the goal. And second I set up internal limits for myself. I don't let life dictate how much I will accomplish, I don't allow for the possibility of blowing the goal out of the water by accomplishing something truly amazing because I have reframed the goal because of life experiences. So I will turn over this idea of setting up goals and just set general goals without having specifics in mind.
MOTIVATION:
Still struggling with this one and I am almost done with the book and still don't think I have any truly great answers. Looks like this one is going to have to come from within. Ugh...that means some serious meditation time on this topic! By next Monday I will have spent at least 60 minutes on this topic.
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