Purpose

I just read "Heroic Leadership: Best Practices From A 450 Year Old Company That Changed The World" by Chris Lowney.

He is a former Jesuit priest turned corporate investment banker. He describes Jesuit practices of how to become a better leader and one of the practices is to meditate for 5 minutes three times a day.

I wish to record the meat of my meditations...to keep me focused and moving forward.

The first focus is that divine love pours out into the world without end. It is not a limited quantity. This means knowing I and everyone around me is a "loved person of unique dignity and potential...". I don't have to respect the person but I do need to respect their divine spirit.

The next focus is to meditate on my key personal goals. Career, Relationships, Financial, Home.

The next focus is to take stock of my actions thus far in the day to see if they helped me reach my long term goals or moved me in the opposite direction. In the words of Al-Anon or AA, take a "fearless moral inventory" twice a day based on my actions. And if they were in the opposite direction to ask for divine help in moving me in the right direction.

The final focus is a "restless drive to imagine a greater project, or a better way of accomplishing the current problems". It also touches on motivation. What goals motivate you that you would go beyond 100% effort to achieve them. That idea of athletes going beyond what they thought possible to achieve the impossible.

So the meditations are:

-Key goals
-Divine Love
-Fearless moral inventory
-Motivation

Friday, April 29, 2011

29 April 2011

This is all about inventory and turning stuff over. I am literally making myself sick over this quiz I have today that is worth 1% of my grade. In a class where I most assuredly have a mid to high B. So 1% isn't going to kill me, but my stomach is upset and I am in a really foul mood because of this.

I am paying $1000's of dollars for this education and this damn teacher isn't teaching and it is pissing me off. But really that isn't what is at the bottom of this issue. The bottom of this issue is I am convinced really convinced that because I am not getting this from reference material (I missed most of the lectures) I think it means I am stupid. And I think that if I am stupid somehow that is wrapped up in me not being loveable. That is if I am stupid there is nothing worth loving about me. As if my intelligence is the only thing loveable about me. I can't make this right in my head. I can't explain or convince or trick my head into thinking this isn't so. It just is a fact of life, like my previous belief about being a failure and never winning. I truly wish this "defect" this aberrant thought pattern would be something the divine will take on and help me with. I can't do this one on my own.

A good reminder right about now is that I am always loved unconditionally by the divine warts, and all. All I have to do is open my heart to know that it is true!
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)