LOVE:
This one was in the back of my mind all day yesterday, which is a good thing. I like getting to the point where it isn't something I have to work at to realize. When I get there I can relax into life and trust. I can let go of stress and worry and know that everything, good and bad happens for my own best growth and education and development. And it is part of what makes me who I am.
This morning there was this in my inbox:
Let go of resentments
Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.
Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.
"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.
Maybe you were. But harboring resentment isn't the solution. If it were, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter whom we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.
Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.
God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings. ~Melody Beattie
There is a huge message in there for me.
GOAL:
I am employed full time based out of New Orleans working in the oil and gas sector helping to save lives by engineering safer systems, through reliability engineering! With a supportive boss and an environment which promotes continual learning.
The value of having a goal was shown to me yesterday. I was meeting with my thesis adviser and discussing a new project and was able to stay on target like I haven't been able to do before because I know that saving lives and property is the end goal in mind. It keeps the miscellaneous stuff from distracting me and allows me to really stay on target. But goals are a tricky thing. I have set workout goals and they seem to come and go depending on the workout environment. So there is something about setting them and there is also something about holding yourself accountable to the goals you set. Still have to work on how that all plays out.
Maybe it is time to set Crossfit goals here too. I will have to think about that.
INVENTORY:
My self care was good yesterday I ate well except for the meal I shared with Reza and Azi and I couldn't not take them up on the meal, and it was an excellent Iranian "fast food" meal! It was a decision I made rather than just eating what I was craving, or just eating something because I was hungry. Planning meals always works out better for me! Part of self care and working on that!
Now, the resentment quote. This is one I need to turn over to the divine. I can't let go of the resentment toward my mom without some extra help! And it definitely is holding me back. With her and with my life. It will trip me up and prevent me from reaching my goals, not acceptable!
MOTIVATION:
Not feeling particularly motivated today, not unmotivated, just have my head down and slogging through the shite. Going beyond to achieve the impossible with the tasks sitting in front of me doesn't seem likely today, but maybe! Maybe...
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